A Public Affair by Jessica Simpson is the first recording available from the popular music downloading service that has no identifiable value to any person currently living anywhere on the Planet Earth.
"We have never seen anything like this song in the history of our culture," said noted musicolgist Alto Castrato in a recent statement. "Just look at the lyrics: It's a public affair, in my underwear. Nick wants my millions, but I'm unwilling to share."
"We are unable to find a single element of the lyrical component of this piece that seems to reflect the efforts of a rational mind," said Castrato. "In addition, the musical accompaniment to this work is a hodge-podge of synthesized beeps and whirs with no cohesive theme or structure. Basically, it's a real mess."
Responding by phone to these statements, Simpson was quick to point out that "I'm like really deep and stuff, ya know? Not everybody is going to understand my art."
"It may be hundreds of years 'til humans evolve to the point where they can appreciate my work," explained Simpson. "Furthermore, the lyrics reflect the experiences of a person who has lived through a sham marriage played for laughs on a reality TV show, a questionable music career completely orchestrated by their domineering father, and a failed attempt to bring the nuances of the character of Daisy Duke to the big screen."
"Seriously now--like who could possibly relate to all of that?"