Thursday, October 12, 2006

eBay Approves New "Gasoline" Auction Category

San Jose, CA--Internet auction giant eBay announced Thursday that they have approved the auctioning of gasoline on their popular trading website.

"With the wild fluctuations in the price of fuel from state to state, and the expectation that costs will rise dramatically this winter due to tensions in the Middle East, we just figured the timing was right," stated eBay CEO Meg Whitman.

One of the first members to take advantage of this policy shift is eBay Power Seller RedneckWoman27, based in Lubbock, Texas. "Fuel is a bit cheaper here in our area, so even with shipping, auction winners still save a few cents per gallon--especially if they are out in California," said the noted seller.

Eldon Reynolds, A local Glendale man, took it one step further yesterday by backing up a gas tanker to his house and filling his empty 18,000 gallon swimming pool with gasoline. "I figure the price is only gonna keep going up and up," said Reynolds. "Soon, the contents of my pool with be worth more than my entire house."

"It's not so bad once you get used to the smell, and the fact that the kids are bitching all the time because they can't go swimming."

One early issue facing eBay is that some sellers are specifiying the "local pickup only" option on their gasoline auctions. eBay CEO Whitman says that, depending on where you live, "this may defeat the purpose of the auction entirely, especially if you have to drive a great distance to pick up your item."

Another concerned party is the postal service, who are expecting to deliver thousands of leaky, rusted-out gasoline cans to their customers over the coming weeks.

"Lots of people are angry because their mail already smells like gas, and every dog on your route wants a piece of you when you show up at the house in a HazMat suit," stated a local carrier, who wished to remain anonymous.

In addition, fire departments report a rash of gas siphoning accidents in all major metropolitan areas, not to mention all of the mysterious "swimming pool fires" we have seen in recent days...

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