"I remember seeing those films in high school science with the mushroom clouds and the melting trees, but they were in black and white," noted Bush.
"We haven't had a black and white TV for years!"
"I know we dropped a couple of nukes on Hirohito and Kawasaki during dubya dubya two and those sure did the trick, but that was way back in the '70s when I was still boozing it up," added the president. "Maybe we need to make sure that they haven't gone all gone bad by now."
President Bush's military advisor, Marshall Islands, was quick to assure the president that our nuclear weapons were kept in a constant state of readiness and that he could count on them to protect the United States in the event of attack.
"We might have a couple duds in the bunch," said Islands, "but it is not like we need to go around tapping the warheads with ball-peen hammers to make sure they are still operational."
Nevertheless, President Bush is now suggesting that we "drop one or two of those nukeuler deals somewhere just to make sure that North Korea knows we still mean business."
"Maybe a couple could accidentally fall out of a plane over Pyongyang or something. 'Cause I remember hearing about nuclear fallout back at Yale--we could just blame the whole thing on that!"