Wednesday, June 04, 2008

Bernanke Drops The Ball; 1.2 Million Econmic Stimulus Checks Returned Marked "Insufficient Funds"

Washington, D.C.--In one of the most blatant economic boners in recent memory, Chairman of the Federal Reserve Benjamin Bernanke confirmed that the government failed to make good on nearly 1.2 million economic stimulus checks over the weekend.

"We are urging citizens to redeposit the checks, and we promise the funds are there now to cover the deposits," stammered Bernanke. The fed chair blamed the recent screw-up on his secretary, explaining that he sent her to the bank with a $750 billion dollar check on Friday, but that she arrived too late to make the deposit. "When she finally told me on Monday," added Bernanke, "I almost went off on her!"

Cody Hildreth, an unemployed bricklayer from Wadesboro, North Carolina, was surprised to receive his economic stimulus check back in the mail today with a stamp on the back reading returned for insufficient funds. "You'd think the government would plan for this sort of thing," stated Hildreth. "I tried to catch up on the payments for my second-hand Chevy Cobalt, but now they are threatening to repossess after my check bounced."

"Never liked that car much anyway," added Hildreth

130 million Americans expect to receive an economic stimulus payment from the government by the end of the summer. The payment is intended to stimulate the economy through consumer spending.

Thursday, February 28, 2008

War Is A Gas least according to one 5th grader.