Friday, November 24, 2006

"Buy Nothing Day" Participant Taunted Endlessly By Friends

Burbank, CA--Local community college student Elton Riggles reports that he has been the victim of merciless teasing from friends and relatives after announcing plans to stay away from the stores altogether on November 24th, a day of shopping that many look forward to all year.

Known informally as "Black Friday," this once-a-year event promises huge mark-downs and extended hours as retailers kick off the holiday shopping season.

"Around six this morning, my cell phone rang," mentioned Riggles. "It was one of my friends, sending me a picture from his camera phone of the new Nintendo Wii system he just picked up at Best Buy. I tried to ignore it, but then someone knocked on my dorm room door about five minutes later and asked to borrow my boombox to play the new Jay-Z CD they just picked up on sale at the Virgin Megastore."

Riggles also sadly noted that he had to turn down an invitation to get coffee at Starbucks with Jennifer Simmons, a member the beach volleyball team whom he has had a crush on since school began.

"I tried to explain to her that I was opting out of our materialistic, shallow culture for the day, but she just looked at me like I was nuts," sighed Riggles.

"Guess that's the last I'll see of her."

Jay-Z - Kingdom Come

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