Saturday, November 04, 2006

Borat Kidnapped By Uzbek Loyalists

Samarqand, Uzbekistan--The Sons of Uzbek Defence Squadron (SUDS) released a statement early this morning claiming that they have apprehended Kazakh journalist Borat Sagdiyev, and are detaining him for questioning indefinitely at an undisclosed location near Samarqand.

"Even though there are few English-speaking citizens of Uzbekistan, we understand the meaning of this word 'asshole' he use in reference to our country," stated loyalist leader Gryzchek Byzcheckov. "We were tired of the terrible things he say about Uzbekistan in his movie, and we want to find out why he hate us so much."

Byzcheckov also mentioned that they "call the embassy in Kazakhstan to find out how much ransoms they offer for him, but they just laugh and hang up on the phone."

Journalist Sagdiyev recently released an English-language documentary film called Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan, in which he travels across the United States in an ice cream van with his producer and a grizzly bear in tow to learn about the cultural practices of everyday Americans.

"Sagdiyev now say that movie about Borat is all fakes, and that he really like people in Uzbekistan," says the loyalist leader.

On top of that," added Byzcheckov, "he keeps insist that he is actually a British citizen named Sasha Barney Cohen, but we say back on him that no Westerner would be caught dead wearing suit like that!"


Anonymous said...

Isn't Sumerqand actually located in Tajikstan? Or did I miss Uzbekistan taking over that country?

Anonymous said...
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Anonymous said...

First of All its Samarqand.Secondly, yes it was included in Uzbek map by Russians back in the beginning of 20th Century.