New York, NY-- After a recent Wikipedia article confirmed what many of us have suspected for years, aging pop crooner Barry Manilow admitted today that he is not music, and he did not write the songs.
"Well, I wrote a lot of other songs, like the theme for American Bandstand," explained Manilow. "I just didn't write that song."
Apparently, "I Write The Songs," a song covered by dozens of other artists like Captain and Tennille (who didn't actually write it either), was written by former Beach Boy Bruce Johnston.
"When I wrote 'I am music, and I write the songs,' I was personifying music itself, and not the person who happened to be singing the song at the time," stated Johnston.
"I know this is kind of confusing for some people."
"Barry just happened to record the definitive version of it, and since he is a fine songwriter in his own right, most people think he wrote it," added Johnston. "I am actually fine with that, as long as the royalty checks keep showing up in my mailbox, and not his."
Nevertheless, Manilow now says he will add a disclaimer before performing the song in concert, explaining that he "has not been alive forever," and that he did not "write the very first song."
"You can't be too careful these days," concluded Manilow. "Those guys at Wikipedia don't miss a trick. Just hope they don't start to question my sexuality anytime soon."