Sunday, January 07, 2007

Local Man Still Fears Y2K

Burbank, CA--Unemployed computer programmer Elton Riggles has spent the last seven years holed away in his Burbank bomb shelter, patiently awaiting the eventual collapse of society due to the Y2K bug.

"Yes, I am fully aware that this year marks the seventh anniversary of the so-called 'Millennium Bug' non-event in our history. I get plenty good TV reception down here still, ya know," Riggles cried out from the confines of his backyard concrete bunker.

Riggles was fired from SystemDyne Technologies in Chatsworth in 1999 after pessimistically claiming that there was "no way were were gonna get all those dates changed" by the end of the century.

His paranoia and negative attitude spread like wildfire throughout the office as the millennium approached, eventually resulting in many IT staffers abandoning their computers altogether. Some even went so far as to revert to the abacus and typewriter to complete their assigned tasks.

"I got enough beef jerky and powdered Gatorade to last the rest of my natural adult life," boasted Riggles when discovered by local authorities.

"Plus, I can wait out Y2K way longer than any of you suckers up there on the surface. Just don't come knocking on my hatch asking for jerky when the whole thing finally goes tits up"


3 comments:

Anonymous said...

only thing to say WOW

A Skeptical Reader said...

yeah right

Anonymous said...

And people think _______ (insert fav) is nuts!!!