The President Is Missing!

Bloomington, MN--The Secret Service reluctantly reported tonight that President Bush has gone missing somewhere inside the Mall of America. "He was begging us to let him ride the merry-go-round one more time," explained special agent Nathan Watt-Roy, "and somehow, we just lost sight of him for a minute."

The president, who was killing some time at the mall after a televised speech to the Minnesota legislature, has a history of wandering away from his guardians in large crowds. "Last time, we found him hiding in one of the T. J. Maxx changing rooms," stated John McLellan, head of the presidential security detail.

"We are not very concerned at this point," added McLellan, "though we would like to get him back to the hotel in time for Laura to put out his milk and cookies."