Monday, January 08, 2007

Donald Trump Blames Rosie For Foul Odor In NYC

New York, NY--In an impromptu press conference, multi-billionaire asshat Donald Trump claimed that Rosie O'Donnell was responsible for the putrid stench permeating most of lower Manhattan today.

"All I'm saying is that the day she gets back into town from her vacation, things start to stink again around here real quick," claimed Trump. "I tried stuffing thousand dollar bills up my nose to mask the odor, but Rosie's noxious fumes still managed to seep into my nostrils, filling me with a sense of nausea and dread."

As a precautionary measure, Trump sent a crew of HVAC technicians down to the set of The View today to point the building's exhaust fans away from Trump Plaza. After consulting with the Department of Homeland Security, he also opted to seal his building in plastic sheeting and duct tape until the crisis subsided.

"At this point, the only thing that can save this city is Superman, or a crew of power washers," added Trump. "If that fat troll doesn't get herself to a shower soon, she's gonna drive half the business out of the city. They may be used to it in Jersey, but this misery will not be tolerated for long in my Big Apple!"

O'Donnell, who was spotted shopping for new perfume at Bergdorfs, was unavailable for comment.

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