Nassau, Bahamas--At the request of her lawyer and soulmate Howard K. Stern, Anna-Nicole Smith's coffin has been fitted with a solar-powered infra-red camera that will send a live feed to a newly-created website, watchannarot.com.
"I don't think the public has quite had their fill of Anna-Nicole mania yet," claimed Stern, "so for $19.99 a month, you can subscribe to the site and spend a little more private time with America's favorite mouldering sweetheart."
Stern came up with the idea when he realized how many people were fascinated by Anna's slimming down process after she signed on to rep the popular weight loss product Trim-Spa in 2005.
"This is just a natural continuation of that process," explained Stern. "Furthermore, we expect her to slim down quite a bit more over the years, providing inspiration to all those poor souls out there suffering with the cruel disease of morbid obesity."
Upon hearing this news, Anna-Nicole's estranged mother, Virgie Arthur, immediately threatened to sue Mr. Stern unless he agreed to cut her in on a healthy share of the profits from his new business venture.
Showing posts with label Anna Nicole. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Anna Nicole. Show all posts
Sunday, March 04, 2007
Saturday, February 10, 2007
Shock Jock Howard Stern Claiming He Slept With Anna Nicole Too!
New York, NY--In a shocking admission likely to fascinate and confuse those of us already following this story (and really, who isn't), shock jock Howard Stern admitted to sleeping with Anna Nicole Smith soon after she appeared on his popular radio program at the beginning of 2006.
"Yeah, I banged her," explained Stern. "And it was right around the time when she got pregnant with that kid as well."
Stern added that "I know this is really gonna confuse a lot of people, because of Howard K. Stern, that douchebag lawyer of hers who has the same name as me, but I had to come forward in case there was any chance of me inheriting that money that Dannielynn has coming to her."
Stern is of course referring to the multi-million dollar settlement being held in limbo in the courts that resulted from Anna Nicole's previous marriage to billionaire J. Howard Marshall.
"Now that I think of it, I am the third Howard in her life. How odd!"
In a last-minute press conference, Stern also admitted that he kept this story under wraps because "she was still pretty fat when I nailed her, and I didn't want anybody to know that I had taken one for the team."
"But now that there is a whole bunch on money on the table here, I thought I would come clean, so to speak," claimed Stern.
"Yeah, I banged her," explained Stern. "And it was right around the time when she got pregnant with that kid as well."
Stern added that "I know this is really gonna confuse a lot of people, because of Howard K. Stern, that douchebag lawyer of hers who has the same name as me, but I had to come forward in case there was any chance of me inheriting that money that Dannielynn has coming to her."
Stern is of course referring to the multi-million dollar settlement being held in limbo in the courts that resulted from Anna Nicole's previous marriage to billionaire J. Howard Marshall.
"Now that I think of it, I am the third Howard in her life. How odd!"
In a last-minute press conference, Stern also admitted that he kept this story under wraps because "she was still pretty fat when I nailed her, and I didn't want anybody to know that I had taken one for the team."
"But now that there is a whole bunch on money on the table here, I thought I would come clean, so to speak," claimed Stern.
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