President Bush Already Trying To Distance Himself From Rumsfeld

Washington, DC--In an impromptu press conference held in the Oval Office today, President Bush expressed little regret upon hearing the news that Donald Rumsfeld, his Secretary of Defense, had abruptly resigned from his position this morning.

"Rummy was a terrible secretary," stated Bush. "He never once topped up my coffee without me asking first, and he was always unwilling to lie and say that I was 'in a meeting' whenever Laura called the office and I didn't feel like dealing with her."

"On top of that," added the president, "he didn't even give the customary two-weeks' notice before leaving his post."

"I don't know what he was thinking, but he is definitely not getting a good recommendation from me if any future employers call, I can tell you that much!"